People tend to be unaware when they’re in a toxic relationship. Or if they do know they don’t like to admit it to anyone, even themselves. My best friend was in an on and off toxic relationship for three years and it was really hard, for me, to see her go through it. I would tell her to leave him constantly but in the end, she had to be the one to end it. Luckily, she did and hasn’t gotten back with her now ex-boyfriend.
If you are currently in a toxic relationship and thinking of leaving, here are seven tips that could help you find the strength:
Can you picture them in your future?
When I asked my best friend regarding her unhealthy relationship and why she finally decided to cut it off, she responded with,
“I did love him so much that I was willing to put up with his abuse, even though all my friends and family hated him. I’ve always wanted a big wedding but I know that if I were to marry him, my family and friends wouldn’t come. And the few that would come, would be disappointed. I didn’t want that type of future for myself and that was the beginning of the end of the relationship.”
So ask yourself, can I see myself spending my life with this person? Can I marry this person? If the answer is “no” or “maybe not”, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.
Find support from friends and family
Now is the time to lean on your family and friends more than ever. I know it’s cliche, but ask for advice and be honest with them about the hardships you’re going through. Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed to ask for advice and be open to following it. They are here to help because they love and care about YOU.
Photo by Becca Tapert via Unsplash
Realize you deserve better
Get real with yourself and ask is this treatment really love? Am I willing to allow someone to treat me this way? If you’re hesitant when answering then maybe it’s time to cut them off.
Ask yourself, “do they inspire me to be the best version of myself?”
After my best friend ended her toxic relationship and got into a new, healthy relationship, she realized how much she’s changed. “Before,” she said, “I was jealous and always angry at him for the way he treated me. He really brought out the worst in me.”
Cut them off
When you decided to break up with them, CUT THEM OFF. Block their numbers, unfollow on all socials, even unfollow their friends - just so you don’t have to see them anymore. It will be hard, but it will be worth it.
Make the decision and stick with it
Pump yourself up and remind yourself that you’re a strong, intelligent person that deserves the best. You don’t need the person that treats you like trash.
Grieve then get over it
It’s okay to be sad, you’ve lost someone that you cared about. But in the end, find something that distracts you and brings you joy. Exercise, paint, go out with friends, do anything you love. Enjoy the time you have to yourself. And remember you are who you settle for.
Photo by Nathan Dumlao via Unsplash