How To Help Someone Living With Ptsd

PTSD affects people differently. The help your loved one requires can depend on their experiences, symptoms, and present mental state.

Remember, while you may provide support and establish a safe environment for your loved one, letting them take the initiative can be beneficial. Respect their boundaries and listen when they seek help.

Talking about it

Healing from trauma can be a rough challenge. Your loved one may need to talk to someone who understands. Talking about it allows individuals to express their feelings and experiences while having those sentiments recognized and understood.

"Talking about it" does not only imply discussing specifics of the terrible occurrence. They may need to discuss other issues, such as their feelings, symptoms, and the healing process.

Here are some broad guidelines for listening to someone with PTSD:

- Try to listen to them carefully.

- Avoid telling them what they “should do” or “should have done.” It can come across as judgment.

- Avoid minimizing their feelings: They may appear unduly scared, hopeless, or sensitive to you, yet their emotions are genuine. When they confide in you, avoid downplaying their anxieties or advising them to "look on the bright side."

- Be patient: They may require some time to open up. It may take some time for them to express their emotions. Allow them to talk at their own pace.

They might want to avoid discussing it with you. Respect their decision if this is the case. Perhaps let them know that it is an open invitation and highlight that you are available if they need somebody to talk to at a later time.

Navigating potential triggers

A trigger is a stimulus that leads someone with PTSD to relive a distressing experience. It could be anything – a sound, odor, location, action, idea, or even a word.

Predicting what will or will not irritate your loved one is not always straightforward. However, it can be advantageous to:

- Learn their specific triggers

- Minimize unnecessary exposure to those triggers.

- Be understanding.

Recognizing and navigating an ‘episode’ or flashback

People with PTSD may have episodes where they are triggered, dissociating, or extremely agitated. Although these episodes can manifest differently in those suffering from PTSD, checking for broad indications is still a good idea.

These indications may include:

- vocal or physical reactions that seem out of place

- a frightened or frozen expression on their face

- sudden changes in behaviors, facial expressions, and gestures

- shaking, shivering, or sweating

- suddenly withdrawing (going quiet or taking a step back from the crowd)

- disconnection from the present, like they’re “somewhere else.”

If they’re experiencing problems, check in on them in a secluded and peaceful location. Ask them if they need assistance managing the circumstance. If they do, find out what they require from you.

In the excitement of the moment, they may not know what they want you to do yet they still seek your assistance. Consider:

- encouraging them to do grounding exercises (like focusing on breathing or describing their surroundings)

- staying calm and keeping your voice gentle

- asking if you can help them get somewhere that feels calmer (e.g., get home, go to a different room, go outside) if the current environment is triggering

- reminding them gently that they’re safe

Try to be a soothing and warm presence for them. Avoid pressuring them to talk about it, especially if they are feeling upset.

Encouraging your loved one to get support and continue care

PTSD has no cure, but people can manage it. Certain therapies can help your loved one's symptoms, improving their quality of life and making them feel better. Experts may strongly recommend PTSD therapy.

If your loved one is not currently receiving therapy, encourage them to do so. You can support them by:

- Reminding them that treatment, while challenging, can pay off in the long run.

- Offering them the opportunity to discuss their sessions or discoveries.

- Providing practical assistance, such as a trip to their therapist's office or attending a support group meeting.

- Recommending self-care activities, like journaling or exercise.

You might also offer relaxing, enjoyable activities that you can do together, such as going for a stroll, baking, or having an arts-and-crafts day. These activities are a terrific way to spend time with others and can also be beneficial to one's health.

Support yourself and honor your needs

In times of crisis, your loved one may require more help than they can provide. However, this does not mean you should ignore your needs.

Setting boundaries when necessary is a good idea. Consider the types of support you are willing or unwilling to provide your loved one. If the situation arises, communicate it with them. For example, they may come over on weekends but not during the week if they require companionship.

Watching a loved one have PTSD can be extremely traumatic. It may be beneficial to seek therapy or join a support group yourself. Make sure you have social support and prioritize self-care by engaging in activities that promote mental health and well-being.