All About Self-esteem By Imperfect - Psychotherapy

“I am a bad person. I am not normal. I am funny, I make people laugh. All make fun of me. My friends come to me when they want something. But, they never help me. I want to be a normal girl. Behave like a beautiful teenager, to be able to talk to all”.  – These are the words of a young girl describing herself.

If a child has experiences which contribute to her/his success, her/his self-esteem will increase and if they have negative experiences, their self-esteem will diminish. It is important for us parents and teachers to nurture a child with positive experiences. The initial years of a child are most crucial years. Specially the year they enter school. Interaction with internal needs, emotional and environmental factors lay the foundation of personality development early in life.

Raising healthy and contented children is the greatest challenge parents face today. Whether they are our babies or toddlers or teenagers or young adults, we keep finding ways to improve our relationships with our children. Sadly some parents can be the worst people to help their child with reading or home work. Instead of enjoying with the children, mother becomes the “authoritative teacher” and worries and pressure surface. One of the most powerful and lasting gift a parent can give is positive feeling, a positive sense of self- “self-esteem”. Self-esteem helps the child to be able to cope with difficulties and be able to reach her/his potential and become a self-sufficient adult.

An enriching learning environment is essential at home and at school. Both parents and teachers should be empathic. They should be able to discover talents and support their strengths.

Some points that we could consciously remember:

• Setting expectations. Be realistic.
• Accept their limitations.
• Encourage and help your child improve the weak areas, but, be proud of strengths.
• Learn from mistakes. It is important to make mistakes.
• Encourage ‘I can do it’ attitude.
• Provide opportunities to be successful.
• Help when required. Give opportunities to decide for them the approach they would like to adopt.
• Be empathetic. Let them know you care for them.
• Good communication is equal to good listening.
• Be careful with the words you choose. They will forget what you said, but will always remember how you made them feel.

Children learn through imitation. It is important that we recognize our shortcomings and admit our mistakes and correct them. It should be understood that while you expect them to do their best, you also realize they are not perfect. No one is. Having strong self-esteem is a very big part of growing up. It helps one to become independent and useful members of the society.

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